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MTV presents: Real Demons

Darkbolt: Well, I'm really excited to be part of this. When MTV called, they said they would have 5 demons, and since we're the only 5 demons on the planet, I figured it'd be us.
War: I was a bit nervous about living with Destruction. I mean, that weird sloth gives me the creeps, even worse then Death, who I understand. I hope he doesn't do something stupid like blow up the world.
Destruction: I'm doing okay, but, everyone keeps calling me a sloth. I think I'll blow up the world. That'll show 'em.
Death: I just think it's so unfair. I mean, not having external genitalia doesn't mean I'm by default a guy. I am a nice deathly woman. At least Evil understands that. Evil: I can't believe Darkbolt got voted to be head of the house. That's it, I think I'm going to try to fix that. Besides, he's already making enemies. Three hours in the bathroom each morning, and he leaves cat hair everywhere. You don't even want to think what a dark hair-ball looks like. It's too evil for me.
Darkbolt: Well, of course I got to be head of the household. I'm the only one here with a name, and we had to put the bills under someone's name.
War: Destruction is such pain. I mean, he won't do dishes, and he leaves such a mess. Guess he can only obliterate planets, and not garbage.
Destruction: They want me to clean up my mess. Like it's MY mess, and no one else makes any. I'm just so fed up with it! Golden Crash!

Evil: While I admire his tenacity, I had to spin a lot of silk to tie the world back together, he's so annoying.
Death: I can't believe he blew up the world. Over not wanting to do dishes.
Destruction: Oh, like Death is little miss perfect. How many mailmen have you killed this week?
Death: Now that's not fair... They kept showing up, poking around. And there's never any mail for me, it's all for War.
War: What can I say? Ever since Legend of the Werewolf came out my war wolves keep getting requested as extras. The audiences can't get enough of them.
Darkbolt: So, War has his own thing, his wolves actually are the only ones here with steady jobs. Evil tried working as a telemarketer, but she wasn't evil enough. Death tried doing Shakespeare but he kept knocking the audience dead. And don't get me started on Destruction blowing up the world at his waiter job. I mean, no tipping, too busy, foods burned...
Evil: I notice Darkbolt forgetting his brief stint with the post office. It was so satisfying to watch him try to deliver to this one house.
Darkbolt: Okay okay, I did have trouble. It has the biggest meanest dog I've ever seen. I think it could have given War a run for his money.
War: Can you say "French Poodle"?
Darkbolt: So it kept chasing me out of the yard. I felt like Slvester.

Evil: The scariest thing? Have you ever seen a black hairball crackling with black static electricity?
Death: Well, War sometimes likes to walk around in his underwear. Battle scars and short shorts don't mix.
War: Hey! I only did that once, because it was laundry day and someone shed all over my bathrobe.
Darkbolt: Is it my fault that War is allergic to cat hair? He sheds more then I do. You want to know what's really scary? Try that attack poodle of doom. I bet it's another demon.
Destruction: I think the scariest thing is the Jehovah's witnesses that were here last week.
War: Initially we tried to have Evil scare them off, but they just gave her a big hug. I think she's still shivering over that.
Evil: Such unconditional love, in such an evil package... It's not fair... just not fair... (sobs)
Death: So eventually they told me to deal with them. Probably because of my religious background. So I went out and told them I was Uriel the angel of death. And of course, they didn't believe me, so they said, "If you're Uriel, why don't you kill this mailman?" (chuckle)
Darkbolt: So, he gets this wicked grin, throws back his head and just laughs.
Destruction: 5 mailmen. Okay maybe I kill more when I blow up the world, but really.
War: I just realized I didn't mention the scariest thing. It made my blood run cold. It was so horrible.
Darkbolt: You know war is allergic to cat hair, right?
War: So utterly horrible. It tore up the cushions, marked the entire house, and... and...
Destruction: (With housecat) Isn't he a cute kitty. Is a cute kitty... You sharpened your claws on that mean old War didn't you? Didn't you?
War: And I'd have one of my war wolves eat the cat, but Destruction would just blow up the world.

Darkbolt: I guess we should have seen it coming. I knew Evil hated I was head of the household.
Death: As much as I dislike Darkbolt taking so long in the bathroom, he does do all the shopping. And if Evil was willing to vote him off, then who'd be next?
Destruction: Evil cocooned my kitty-cat. When I found her 3 days later her lifeless body was drained of blood. (Sobs) In was so upset, I wanted to blow up the world, but it would've vaporized my kitty's body.
War: Okay, I didn't like the cat either, but that was just cold. And truth be told, I kinda miss the little guy. You show this clip to Destruction and I'll put a warblade through your head.
Life: So, they called me up. I initially protested, I mean, I'm not a demon, but since I was bonded to an Orb, I guess it could work.
War: I remember when Life first showed up. He had a goofy bird on his shoulder. I wanted to give him a hazing, so we fought with swords for a while. He's good.
Death: You would think Life and I wouldn't get along, but that's not true. Since he's been here I haven't gotten yelled at for any of the mailmen I've killed. He just pops them back to life.
Destruction: At first I didn't like Life. I'm just not a bird person. But then... (Meow) He brought my kitty back to life! I wuv my kitty... Who's a good kitty? Who's a good kitty?
Darkbolt: Sure Life and I have had differences in the past. I actually saved his life once though. So, I figured, for the good of the household, I might as well. Besides, he's the only one who hasn't complained about my morning grooming sessions.
Life: It's been difficult, but I think we'll work out. Besides, once you get past that dark and evil exterior, Darkbolt is kinda cool. You know, he saved my life once?

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Date/Time   23-Apr-15 08:47 AM