Dark Battle Demon Rangers
Go go Demon Rangers! Dark Battle Demon Rangers...
Yasha: Those accursed rangers. How am I supposed to take over the world
with them standing in my way?
Dakuu: But Yasha this time I have a Tenma monster that cannot fail. Stemm
is a plant creature and can turn plants into a version of our evil monsters.
Yasha: Ah haha! Yes that is a good monster! Stem, go and destroy those
Meanwhile in the juice bar...
Yun: That's great Ikkou. Go for it.
Ikkou: (fencing) I'm just not getting it. I don't understand why I can't
just blast her!
Mariko: (Kicking his butt) You can't go around as the Destruction Ranger all
the time! What if you want to take a walk in the park?
Meanwhile, in the park:
Naoko: Thanks for meeting me here. You always show up when we need it the
most, but most importantly, I feel my soul drawn to yours.
Fushi: That's okay. I know how you feel. I think about how you are doing.
In my time, you're dead, and I want to prevent that.
(They go in to kiss each other and three 'putties' jump out that look like
guys in the old suits painted green, with a few leaves glued on)
Fushi: Oh no!
Naoko: Who are these guys?
Fushi: Yasha must've released Stemm.
Naoko: It's Dark-Battle time!
(posing with each word)
Naoko: Demon of Darkness Power-Up!
Fushi: Angel of Life Power-Up!
(cheesy CG transformation)
(Worst battle(tm) scene)
Pheonix: That was tough, Naoko, you better get the others!
Back at the sparing session:
Yun: Hold up you two, I sense danger.
Ikkou: You always say that!
Naoko: (Runs in) Guys, we've got trouble.
Yun: (to Ikkou) Told you!
(6 Stemm putties show up)
Mariko: Oh yeah, some action!
(Even worse battle(tm), where they don't transform, and Ikkou and Mariko
only fight with the fencing swords)
Naoko: This started at the park! Let's head there!
Naoko: Demon of Darkness Power-Up
Mariko: Demon of War Power-Up
Yun: Demon of Death Power-Up
Ikkou: Told you Mariko. Demon of Destruction Power-Up
(turn into color coded blurs and teleport to the park)
Stemm: Ha ha ha, silly Rangers, you dare fight me on my home turf?
Naoko: (poses) We'll fight you,
Yun: (worse pose) and your evil kind
Ikkou: (worst pose) Wherever we find you
Mariko: (pose so bad it's beyond comprehension) so bring it on!
Stemm: Fools! Grabbing Roots!
(rubber tendrils pummel the rangers who all jump backwards as if hit by an
explosion, the vines then wrap them up)
Mariko: Can't move!
Ikkou: and it's draining our power!
(a bird shaped firebolt strikes in front of the rangers, severing the roots,
a la Tuxedo Mask)
Naoko: The Pheonix Samurai!
Pheonix: I thought you might need some help Darkness Ranger.
Yun: You're in the wrong anime!
Pheonix: Sorry I was out of roses, Sail... er... Rangers, but I got a cool
Stemm: Hey! I'm still trying to kill you!
(on the floating ship)
Yasha: Oh no! Stemm isn't doing well! What can I do?
Sensha: Hey, why don't you use your secret powers to make that little
sprout into a redwood sized problem.
Dakuu: I agree!
Yasha: Excellent idea! Demon of Evil, Make my Monster Grow!
Ikkou: Oh no A giant sized monster.
Naoko: We need Demonzord Power Now!
(a large sequence where the mechs show up, a giant red wolf for Mariko, a
black flying raven for Yun, a yellow sloth (I'm not a sloth!) for Ikkou, and
A black puma for Naoko)
Pheonix samorai: Chou! We need the Dark Battle Ultra-Mega Demonzord!
(pulls out flute and plays, and the phoenix mech responds "Chou")
(The mechas then combine. Mariko is the legs, the mech splitting up the
,middle to make left and right legs. Ikkou is the main body, splitting
similarly so that Yun's mech can fold up and fit in the back, the black
wings showing. Naoko's mech forms the arms, the middle elongating, and the
forelegs and back legs merging to different arms. Chou flys in, and forms
the head which fits on top. The Demonzord poses, and the 4 demons and the
phoenix pose behind it.)
Stemm: At last, a worthy adversary!
Naoko: You're toast! Final Unblockable Phoenix Sword!
(the mech goes through a clip of pulling a feather from Chou's tail, it
turns into a sword)
Stemm: Oh no! (Grins) Root Hentai!
(Vines explode from everywhere entering into the cockpits..)
Naoko: I'm tied up...
Mariko: Can't reach controls!
Pheonix: I'll play you out! (notices roots in flute.)
Yun: Ikkou? Can you reach it? You need to swing the sword!
Ikkou: Aw man...
(pause, Ikkou stretches and grabs the controls)
Ikkou: Final Unblockable Phoenix Sword!
Stemm: Aaaaaaaggghhhh! (Falls down and explodes.)
Demon team: (Giant robot poses) We did it!
Yasha: Noooo! And Stemm was so strong! Those accursed rangers.
Dakuu: It's time to use you'r ultimate weapon mistress.
Sensha: I agree, it's the only way.
Yasha: You're right. Demon of Evil Power-Up!
Tranformed Yasha: Prepare Rangers! Your worst nightmares are about to come
Back in juice bar...
Yun: See Ikkou? Swordplay is important.
Ikkou: You're right Yun, I realize that now.
Mariko: Yeah, but, you'll never beat me Ikkou.
Ikkou: (Looks mad) That's it!
(long shot of the earth)
Ikkou: Golden Crash!
(Earth splits in half a la KO Century Beast)
(Fade to black)
And now, a Demon Ranger Moment....
(Naoko is there, in Demon Ranger outfit, with helmet off if she has one)
Naoko: Today we showed you an attack called root hentai. In real life
tentacle rape is no laughing matter. If one of your friends offers you any
tentacle experience, just say "No way." If your friend persists, remember
these steps. Say "No." Then Go. Then Tell someone you trust.
(does a little martial arts posing, then camera zooms in on her face.)
Naoko: Now that's cool!
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